happy birthday, penny

grapes

penny is 2! some of the things penny is doing these days is counting to 15, pointing out the numbers 1-4 on signs and pictures, and recognizing letters like c, e, and o (C.E.O. – hmm, i wonder if that will mean anything ). call me crazy but since penny was born i’ve tried to keep track of all of her milestones, tooth eruptions, illnesses, nap transitions, you name it. i even recorded every word penny has been saying since she uttered, “엄마 (mom) and 아빠 (dad). it’s practically impossible to keep track of her vocabulary now since she picks up new words on a daily basis and is stringing them into 2, 3, or 4-word phrases.

the reason why penny is counting up to 15 is because we practice counting while going upstairs for nap and bedtime, and we have… 15 steps. recently i bought her a counting book, “pinkalicous 1, 2, 3” so she can practice counting up to 20.

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as tiring as it is dealing with her mood swings and endless energy, we do enjoy witnessing every little thing penny learns every day. we are constantly amazed whenever penny utters a new word or phrase, and all four of us (dennis, me, and my in-laws) erupt in a round of applause!  i hope we are just as amazed when ezra starts talking, too.

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opening gifts

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penny was just as excited about the little tikes basketball hoop (not pictured)

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dennis made blueberry doughnuts this morning using the doughnut maker from olivia li!

 

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ezra is 6 weeks old and he has started cooing and social smiling.  he also turns his head, and not just his eyes, to follow movement. he is also “playing” with the green stars that hang over the pack and play. we place him on the boppy lounger and he will bat at the stars. i refer to the wonder weeks app to read up on upcoming developmental leaps; ezra started his first leap last week and it’s interesting to see how on point, and specific, the app is with what ezra will be learning.

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i remember how tough it was when penny was six weeks old. she was fussy in the evening (almost inconsolable at times) and wouldn’t sleep. six weeks is when the witching hour reaches its peak, and babies go through a growth spurt and somewhat of a sleep regression.

although it’s too soon to put ezra on a strict schedule, it’s never too early to establish a bedtime routine. we have been bathing ezra anywhere between 7:30-8:30pm, feeding him, and then putting him down for the night. usually he’ll sleep until after midnight (later if the routine is pushed back). two nights ago, he woke up every half hour until i finally fed him again around 11:30! half of the time he fell back asleep on his own having tried to self-soothe.. but other times we intervened with a pacifier or by rocking him. as for the late-night feedings, he was waking before he was hungry because of gas pains.. again! i had to soothe him by doing bicycle kicks, rubbing his tummy, and giving him gripe water. the latter helped significantly and he slept longer after that.

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last night, dennis and i went out see guardians of the galaxy 2.  it was our first date since ezra was born. (we loved the first movie and the sequel didn’t disappoint! a third one is in the works! )to make it easier for my mil, we put penny to bed so all she had to do was ezra’s bedtime routine. ezra woke up 40 minutes after going down so she tried soothing him in different ways, changing his diaper, and putting him down again. she ended up feeding him an hour later because it had been 3 hours since he had last eaten.

what is interesting about last night is that ezra only had one feeding. although ezra had difficulty falling, and staying, asleep (he didn’t end up falling asleep until 11:30pm and that was because i ended up sleeping with him in my arms.) he woke up to feed around 3am, and again, had trouble staying asleep so he slept in my arms until 8am! this shows me that ezra can stretch his feedings; it’s just a matter of him staying asleep.

at one point when he woke up crying, dennis suggested i check his diaper. if it’s only a wet diaper, i hadn’t been changing them lest i wake up him fully. but i need to start changing them once they’re really full because he does seem to be uncomfortable. after i changed his diaper, he was calm and fell asleep in my arms.

thankfully dennis wakes up and helps me when i really need assistance. one night, i had fallen asleep while feeding ezra at one point and milk had soaked the front of his bodysuit. dennis had to go get a new one from ezra’s room while i cleaned an unhappy and hungry baby.

having a baby will make you realize even more how important, and precious, sleep really is. i was also thinking the other day of how effective sleep deprivation is as a torture method. i recalled how one of the ways navy seals tortured a detainee was through sleep deprivation in the movie zero dark thirty. sometimes i’m so tired i feel like i’m losing my mind and just feel like crying. during night feedings, i find myself desperately shaking my head back and forth in a futile attempt to wake myself up. i also browse the internet using my phone but i’ve started to develop cramps and carpal tunnel in my hands from trying to access my phone in awkward positions.

anyway, i could go on forever sharing more anecdotes but i need to end this post at some point. penny went to her 2-year checkup yesterday and she’s 75% for height and 25% for her weight: tall and thin. the pediatrician wasn’t worried about her weight noting toddlers can be finicky eaters. he wanted to know how penny was doing with her vocabulary and was pleased to see that she speaks very well. as for ezra, he was 9lb. 14.5 oz and 21.5 inches at his 1-month checkup, and has moved on to size 3 month clothes.

dennis has a 4-day weekend coming up thanks to memorial day. we are spending friday-sunday in massachusetts. my grandma will finally be able to meet ezra; and, we will also spend time with the kim family and see their new addition, micah! he and ezra are one month apart.

i’ll be sure to share how our weekend went. hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend.

5/14/17 (mother’s day)

we spent mother’s day going to church in the morning. in the afternoon, we went to the mall to check out sneakers for me.. but i couldn’t find any that i liked. we ended up buying new balance sneakers for penny. afterwards, we ate dinner at seoul bbq.

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5/16/17

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checking out ants

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5/17/17: play date with parker

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parkerpenny

5/19/17: mom and jen visit

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grapes

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i will survive…

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ezra all dressed up for katie and mike’s wedding

[ friday, 5/5/17 ] i have been trying to publish this post for five days now. i have to go through what i already wrote to update. for instance, ezra is three weeks old as of this past tuesday! although the newborn stage has its challenges, like those motn (middle of the night) feedings, it’s also fairly easy in a sense that all the baby does is eat and sleep… unless he is wide awake all night.. and he was for almost 3 hours last night! after over an hour, dennis took over so i could sleep. ezra hates getting his diaper changed so the motn diaper changes stress me out because of how much he cries. i find that changing his diaper after a feeding will result in him being more calm because he’s content; but then i have to put him back to sleep since the whole process will have woken him up from his milk coma. so, now i stop him halfway through a feed to change his diaper (if he has pooped) since i can soothe him with milk afterwards.

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ezra at 2 weeks old

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with the exception of the first few days in the hospital, penny was exclusively breastfed until she switched over to hemp and whole milk at 13 months. there is no way i am going to be able to do this the second time around. as it is, it’s tough to find time to pump even with help. i also didn’t want to constantly pump and then be engorged on the days i’m alone and can’t find the time to do so. i had thought i could pump while playing with penny but, for some reason, she has developed a fear(?) of the pump. i’m guessing the fear stems from the pump’s appearance because she is also scared of the horn that was included with her set of musical instruments and a toy blender. who knows why?

i have tried to pump after an early morning feeding (usually i’m nodding off in bed), then during penny’s naptime, once during the evening, and then before bed. i pumped once today for comfort after not having pumped for a day and a half (!) with a nursing session in-between. looks like my nursing/pumping days are over very soon.. it does make me a little sad. in a way, i feel apologetic towards ezra.. and a little guilty because i was able to make it work for penny. but i know it’s much less stress for me.

i was also under the weather after our friends’ wedding this past sunday, most likely due to exhaustion and not eating enough these past few weeks. breastfeeding moms, particularly, need to eat well and drink plenty of water but i had been neglecting myself. that, along with sleep deprivation and infrequent pump sessions, tanked my supply. i have been supplementing with enfamil enspire formula because i had read that it’s the closest to breast milk but it was giving ezra a lot of gas. we switched over to similac (a sample from the pediatrician’s office) and he seems to be doing better with that.

although ezra is only three weeks old he has definitely become more alert. around week 2, he had a significant growth spurt where he was extra sleepy and hungry. his newborn clothes had been loose on him but now they are a bit more snug. that week was also when the witching hour began. from 6pm on, he wouldn’t sleep and would cluster feed. some of the times, however, he wasn’t hungry and just wanted to be held. there were instances where we fed him because we mistook his cues and he was very unhappy and uncomfortable from the extra milk (and gas). one night, ezra was awake from 7pm until after 11pm! every time he fell asleep in my arms and i put him down, he would wake up. my dinner had gotten cold and i gave up trying to do anything that night. after one more feed around 10, he finally fell asleep in my arms while i was in bed. i had fallen asleep too and didn’t wake up until nearly midnight to place him in his rock and play.

this is dennis’ long week at work which also means it’s a long week for me. (but now that it’s friday night instead of tuesday when i originally started this post, it’s almost over!) thankfully, i have a few play dates lined up on the days i would have been alone. i’m hoping penny will cooperate as her aversion to most adults is still going strong. (she was apprehensive initially when parker came over today but she warmed up, and they played well together.)

my mom and my sister also drove down from boston to visit for the day so i was able to take a 2.5 hour nap while they took care of ezra and played with penny. it was glorious! now i just need to get through this weekend and we can have a family day on monday since dennis has it off.

hoping tonight isn’t like last night! fingers crossed…

[family day in hartford]

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she wouldn’t leave the water station at ct science center

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snacking on blackberries

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[in-laws’ 38th wedding anniversary]

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cake

i made this cute cake topper using my cricut!

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[ katie & mike’s wedding ]

location: the barns at wesleyan hills in middletown, ct

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[ visit from mom and sister from last week ]

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6-month growth spurt

when is there not a growth spurt? babies grow so much, developmentally and physically, during the first year that it seems like they’re on a never-ending growth spurt. while this is true, there are common growth spurt times for most babies and 6 months is one of them.

a lot happens at 6 months. babies are starting to master skills such as rolling both ways and sitting up unassisted, if they haven’t already done so in previous months. this is also the month where many babies start solids for the first time – a huge adventure in itself! – because of stronger neck control and ability to sit on own or with little help.

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after she wakes up, i always help her sit up to practice

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she recently started rolling over from her back to belly

she recently started rolling over from her back to belly

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practicing rolling

often times growth spurts and leaps coincide making this time even more challenging. penny’s current leap ends in about a week so i’m really looking forward to that. penny is still such a happy baby when she’s awake but has serious mood swings during her leaps so we try our best to accommodate her and switch activities when she shows signs of agitation.

big smile!

big smile!

yesterday was a rough day. penny’s wake-up time used to be consistent but ever since her current leap she’s been waking up anywhere between 6-8am. this all depends how long she’d been up during her night feedings. for instance, yesterday i had put penny down for her last nap. i felt a cough coming on so i tried to quickly leave the nursery with yuri but i didn’t make it out in time. i coughed ONCE and her eyes flew open. i rocked her for 40 minutes trying to get her to fall asleep again!!!! i was so upset at myself and worried over penny’s awake time that i put her down in the crib and started bawling. everything is so much harder when you’re alone because you can’t tag-team. thankfully, my mil came over with homemade 김치찌게 and helped with penny’s bedtime routine.

i can only imagine how exhausting it must be for penny who is still trying to adjust to this big, big world. it’s obvious she’s tired but keeps waking up early from naps and bedtime due to her brain constantly whirring with all the new things she’s been learning. but it’s also incredibly hard to remember all this when you’re trying to take care of a baby (and a dog) while trying to pump, eat, and tackle some household tasks in a zombified state.

today, on the other hand, penny slept a lot during the day. her first nap was 1.5 hours, her second was the usual 30-minute, and her last was 3 hours! right now dennis is feeding her and putting her down for bed. here’s hoping she sleeps well tonight. *fingers crossed*

something i hadn’t mentioned in previous posts is that we had decided to start penny on solids a few days after 5 months. she had been showing great interest in food and would stop playing to watch me eat. we decided to start her on avocado and see how she did. i mashed a very ripe avocado and mixed in breast milk to make it more watery. we fed her, maybe, a half-teaspoon total the first time. she grimaced as if she didn’t like it… she wasn’t used to the texture. she did open her mouth a few times when we held her spoon up. we tried it out for two more days and stopped. not because she wasn’t taking to it but i decided to wait until she was, at least, 6 months.

a website i refer to often is http://www.kellymom.com. it’s a pro-breastfeeding website but also offers insight and support on many topics such as growth spurts, solids, and pumping. i have done a lot of research on when to start solids and many up-do-date sources recommend the minimum age of 6 months. the nurse at our pediatrician’s office gave us the go-ahead at penny’s 4-month check-up but we waited until 5 months. she also suggested rice cereal to start out and make her more full. (i actually think this is outdated advice – rice cereal does not make babies sleep longer at night and it also does not have any nutritional value which is why we opted to start with avocado instead.)

breaking in her new chair!

breaking in her new chair!

recently we purchased an inglesina chair to get ready for penny to start solids again. it was a request item that was languishing on our baby registry so we bought it ourselves. we like that it’s portable because it attaches to the edge of a table. to get penny used to it, we have her sit in it once in a while while we eat or do the dishes. it also helps her sit upright and she keeps herself preoccupied with toys or observing us.

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on a recent trip to target, i purchased a darth vader bubble container. i’ve been trying to think of more activities to do with penny and have been meaning to get bubbles. turns out, she LOVES bubbles! she is so fascinated when i pull out the red bubble wand and blow ~~ magically all these shimmering bubbles fly out. she tries to grab them so i catch a few on the wand for her to observe and pop.

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i’ve noticed that penny is very hands-on. she loves to feel different textures and fabrics especially things that are soft and fuzzy.  (i.e couch cushions, blankets, clothes)

speaking of soft and fuzzy, we put penny in a bear suit before going out on walks to keep her warm. it still hasn’t been nearly as cold as it usually is in november but the nights have begun to have a bit of a bite.

just before our evening stroll tonight

just before our evening stroll tonight

today was day 6 of penny’s growth spurt. it normally lasts about a week (on the long side) so i’m hoping it ends soon. i noticed that her footed pj bottoms are already getting a little tight on her! her 6-month check-up is on the 23rd so i’m excited to find out how much she weighs and how
much she’s grown in length. not thrilled about the vaccines because i hate seeing her cry but if it’s like last time,the tears will only last a few seconds.

rolling with the punches

penny’s growth spurt has ended! it lasted from july 31-august 6. i was able to figure out the dates through the baby tracker app. since i log every time i feed penny, i noticed that during those 7 days, penny’s total time spent nursing/feeding was about 2.5~3 hours a day. normally, she feeds for 1.5 hours a day. at her last checkup, she was nearly 12.5 lb.. surely she must be 13 lb. by now!

yet another way i could tell that her growth spurt had ended was that she returned to her regular sleeping schedule. i began sleep training her at 2.5 months to get her acclimated to having a sleep schedule. newborns don’t really have a schedule but as penny is nearly at the infant stage it was important to start getting her used to sleeping at certain times so she won’t be overtired. she began going to bed around 9-10pm around two weeks ago but i noticed that she would barely nap the last 3 or 4 hours before her unofficial bedtime. this alarmed me because she was so overtired and wasn’t easy to put down. we slowly started moving her bedtime to 8:30, then to 8, and now she sleeps anywhere from 6:30-7pm. it has worked out well for all of us because penny isn’t exhausted and we aren’t eating dinner separately or late because of her late bedtime.

it also helps to have a bedtime routine. ours is feed/bath/*feed/bed. when i nurse her, i try to do it in her nursery with only the lamp on (not the chandelier) and piano music playing in the background (along with the white noise) to get her ready for bed. thankfully she loves baths and is very calm in the tub. we sing and talk to her (and then soothe her once she’s out because she hates getting out of the tub!) while giving her a massage to help her relax even more. afterwards, we apply lotion to her entire body and put a fresh diaper and an undershirt on. usually by this time, she is tired so we haven’t successfully been able to read a bedtime story to her. (i was actually able to read one to her tonight so i hope to incorporate that into the routine.) the last feed is optional as she may still be full but i do offer it so she’ll be more content and sleep longer. lastly, we give her a pacifier and her eyes immediately start getting heavy. then we place her in the magic merlin suit (more on this in my next post) and rock her until she falls asleep. recently, she’s been passing out in our arms in ten minutes or less… i hope this continues.

due to penny’s earlier bedtime, dennis and i have been able to spend more alone time with one another which we truly appreciate. we are eating dinner at a more reasonable time and also unwinding by watching tv and talking to one another. my sister turned 30 last week, and i organized a dinner for 8 people to help her celebrate. while dennis and i got ready, my sister and mil gave penny a bath and got her ready for bedtime. then we all left while my mil rocked her to sleep. lo and behold, she passed out around 7pm.

happy birthday, jen!

happy birthday, jen!

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i think brendan, jen’s bf, told us to do tiger claws

the boys came out too!

the boys came out too!

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even though her growth spurt ended a few days ago, she still has not been her usual self because she has also been going through a developmental leap. the current one that she is on, and will be ending tomorrow, is “smooth transitions.”

after going through this leap some of the things that penny may be able to do are:

  • follow something with her eyes in a fluid motion √
  • turn her head in a fluid motion when following something √
  • more lively, more active, squirms, and is turning in all directions √
  • rolls from tummy to back (with a little help) – i’ve been doing lots of tummy time with her to keep strengthening her neck and core. she hasn’t been able to roll over on her own yet but she’s not quite 3 months yet so we’ll keep practicing!
  • shakes a rattle – she’s definitely grabbing objects more often and moving them around but hasn’t shaken a rattle
  • discovers new possibilities of the voice such as cooing, screaming, and crowing √
  • blows saliva bubbles √
  • clearly shows in her behavior when she finds something funny or interesting √
  • clearly enjoys light bulbs slowly illuminating from soft to bright – we don’t have a dimmer so i can’t try this out but she loves looking at light fixtures so i turn them on and off for her to observe.
  • clearly enjoys sounds that gradually go from high to low or vice versa – i haven’t experienced with volume yet but i do play music when she’s awake to have her exposed to background noise and different genres.
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look at her grabbing toys!

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tummy time!

tummy time!

penny actually hates tummy time so i do it when she's in a good mood after nursing.

penny actually hates tummy time so i do it when she’s in a good mood after nursing.

practicing sitting up with her new sit-me-up chair

practicing sitting up with her new sit-me-up chair

since she’s learning so much, she has been exhibiting typical symptoms of this leap which are crying more often, longer, and harder; wanting to drink more; wanting more physical contact; withdrawn (often); thumb sucking (often); and quieter and/or less mobile behavior. besides the last one, penny has been showing all these symptoms for the past two weeks. she prefers being with either me or dennis probably since she sees us the most. even with my mil, she had been fussing when being held by her. but sometimes she doesn’t like to be held; she actually really enjoys lying on her back and observing everything around her.

this past saturday we ventured to new jersey to attend an annual pool party at our friends’ parents’ home. initially we decided not to go because of the long commute but changed our minds so that we wouldn’t be so tied down by penny. the more we expose her to car rides, the outdoors, and other people the better she’ll be able to cope and to take naps on-the-go (something that she’s struggling with as she’s used to napping at home in her dark room with the white noise on.)

her brief nap on the way down to nj

her brief nap on the way down to nj

well, what should have been a 2.5 hour car ride one way turned out to be 4 because of traffic and two pit stops to nurse and change diapers. needless to say, penny barely napped on the way down so she was super cranky… and then we brought her to a brand-new place that was blaring music and had tons of people milling around. she started crying hysterically right away. As a result, dennis and i spent the majority of the time indoors because every time we stepped outdoors, she would freak out (the loud music didn’t help). she was calm, and even napped, for a little while when dennis wore her in the baby bjorn but after she woke up, it was game over. it was disappointing that we didn’t get to swim or really enjoy ourselves but we did get to mingle and catch up with friends we hadn’t seen in a while. we only stayed for 3 hours before heading home (penny’s bedtime is 7pm and it would take us 2.5 hours to get home). she actually slept on the way home because she was so exhausted and ended up sleeping for 8.5 hours that night.

i’m thinking she was extra sensitive because she’s going through her leap but she’s a fairly sensitive baby to begin with. one example is that we change her diaper often because she can wake up early from naps even with a slightly wet diaper. she also LOVES diaper changes by the way. she will lie there smiling happily and kicking because she’s looking forward to getting a fresh diaper;  it’s pretty cute.

penny and i are meeting up with genie and olivia for another playdate tomorrow afternoon. we like to meet up at westfarms mall because nordstrom has a mother’s lounge for breastfeeding and pumping.. so convenient.. every place should have one. i get nervous bringing penny out on my own especially since she gets agitated in the car seat (really, i would too if i had to sit there with a sweaty back for hours), but i’m trying to build my confidence so that we both can get used to being out and about. she’s a baby so it won’t really be a smooth outing but as long as i can keep a cool head it’ll be okay. dennis is always telling me to ‘roll with the punches’ and be ready for any outcome because a baby’s behavior is unpredictable. i’ll also be with a friend tomorrow so that makes me feel significantly better.

to the mall we shall go!

remember, god loves you

remember, god loves you

since i was a child, i have always taken great care in reading signs whenever i am a passenger in a vehicle. i don’t mean signs to help the driver with directions but outdoor signs that businesses and organizations display to showcase their services.

i suppose one reason for reading signs is that i’m an avid reader. i’ll read anything that i can get my hands on. another is that i noticed early on that many of these outdoor signs are infused with humor and wit. that’s great advertisement for you: to capture, and convince, an audience. still another reason is that spelling errors really irk me. i’m that person who will take a pen out of my purse and spell a word correctly – it can be a flyer on a telephone pole or a notice on a restaurant door; i will correct it!

in any case, our family of three, along with my mil, spent our day at mystic aquarium yesterday. for the better part of last week i’d been cooped up in the house missing out on the opportunity to enjoy the hot and sunny weather. since dennis had the day off yesterday, we decided to take a family trip to the aquarium. it was over an hour drive, and thankfully my mil was with her in the back of the car because penny started getting fussy near the end of the trip.

it was slightly tough to really enjoy the exhibits with a 2.5 month old baby but we prevailed in the end. penny was calm, and even took a nap, when i wore her in my baby bjorn. poor babies.. they do get uncomfortable sitting in a car seat for a long period of time especially since their backs get sweaty.

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penny with her new shades – a gift from genie!

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buoys in front of mango’s wood-fired pizza – the pizza is so tasty!

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we checked out the penguins among many other creatures

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i’d like to think she was fussier than usual because she’s going through her 3-month growth spurt and just began a new developmental leap (google “wonder weeks” or download the free app.) yet another milestone is that she’s reaching for objects! the first thing she reached for was a brand-new doughnut rattle. she loves doughnuts just like mommy and daddy. 🙂

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super cute doughnut rattle – a gift from kathryn!

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some of my former coworkers stopped by last week for a few hours to meet penny!

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penny’s still happy and smiling when she’s up but that can change in an instant these days. even though she’s sleepy, her hunger keeps her up hence the short naps and fussiness.

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penny had been sleeping 5.5~6 hours, if not more, a night up until she turned 11 weeks old. since that exact day, she has been waking up after having slept for about 4.5 hours. this has resulted in me nursing her around 1am and then again around 4 or 5am. it could be worse… i think back to the cluster feedings when she was growing through growth spurts at 2 and 6 weeks and am thankful that she’s not nursing every hour.

* here i am seven hours later attempting to finish up this post. notice the strikethrough on my last sentence? well, it happened just a few hours ago. penny woke up at 3 and basically i’ve been nursing her every half hour until 7 when she finally fell asleep but not without a valiant fight. since my body is used to 3-4 hour feeds, it totally was not prepared for penny’s growth spurt. for the past three days, she’s been fussing while she’s nursing because the letdown is coming fast enough; today, especially, was brutal. since she’s been eating so much lately her diaper changes have increased as well.

overwhelmed, i finally gave in to penny’s demands and gave her a bottle. i try my hardest not to bottle feed her because 1) i hate pumping, and 2) if i’m alone, i’m not able to pump right away… i don’t want that to affect my supply. but today, i couldn’t take it anymore and penny was also insatiable. after the bottle, i put her down for a nap and she woke up ten minutes later. so, i did an early bedtime routine since by that time it had been over two hours since she’d been up. after her bath – during which she was her usual calm self – i tried nursing but she was full so she unlatched a few minutes later and started smiling and cooing. i put penny in the newly purchased magic merlin suit hoping that she’d sleep for the night. it’s only penny’s second time wearing it to bed and it’s rather bulky so that could be one of the reasons why she was so unhappy to be in it. in any case, it took about a half hour to put her down… this was 2.5 hours ago… i’m exhausted. my eyes are trying to close on their own (- _ -) zZz (note: she ended up sleeping for nearly 7 hours.)

it’s days like these that you need to be reminded how well you’re doing and that it’s all for an amazing reason: your child. back to the quote — exhausted after a long day at the aquarium tending to penny and her needs, i was surprised and moved by the sign, “remember, god loves you.” these four words appeared on a sign underneath the word “wifi” for a motel during our drive back home.

it’s challenging to remain calm and be positive when dealing with a demanding baby especially when you’re at a loss on how to soothe her. a lot of baby mamas keep telling me to stay strong because she’ll soon be walking and talking and i’ll actually miss when i could cradle her in my arms. well, it’s tough to keep this in my mind when i tried 3 times in the past hour to put her down for a nap only to have her wake up 20 minutes later…

*breathe in, breathe out* hoping this, too, will pass soon and she’ll go back to being a good rester.

and yes, god does love me.. i am so grateful for a happy, healthy baby and the love and support from so many people particularly my dear husband who doesn’t hesitate to get up at 3am to put her back to bed when i’m stumbling around like a zombie. i also need to remember that penny loves me, and is wholly dependent on me, whenever frustration starts to creep up on me.

yesterday, penny seemed to return to her schedule: short nap(s) in the morning, long afternoon nap, short nap in the evening, and bedtime. my sister, jen, came to visit from boston and it was wonderful to have help around the home. she took yuri out, washed the dishes, burped and played with penny, helped me bathe her, and put her to bed.

it’s her 30th birthday today! happy birthday, jen!

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today, on the other hand, has been a disaster. penny has only slept 7 hours in the past 15 hours… (since midnight). i’m at my wit’s end.. i just put her down at 3:05pm and now she’s up at 3:26pm…

remember, god loves you… remember, penny loves you… ❤